• For more information on how to avoid pop-up ads and still support SkiTalk click HERE.
I AM and you're not.png
Squaw Valley Resort has abandoned the idea of the California Express gondola, which would connect Squaw Valley’s main resort with Alpine Meadows. In an 11th-hour reversal of plans, Squaw Valley has decided that Alpine Meadows would be better suited as a premium private members-only resort.

alpinemeadows.jpg
According to unnamed sources, “The original plans of the connecting lift, including White Wolf, made sense from a marketing perspective, but the combination of two competing resorts created a marketing barrier that Squaw could not compete against in acreage. The plan continued past the initial design, but the concept of shifting to a private resort gained momentum over the years and looks to be financially viable.”

An independent management consulting firm is searching for a spokesperson and ambassador for the resort; applications are currently being accepted. The ideal candidate should be a local, recognizable community activist who is both a psychologist and an author.

For the 2020-21 season, Alpine Meadows will be not be in operation, but it will reopen for the following season as an exclusive members-only resort with the tagline “I A.M. and you’re not.” Membership will start with an estimated initial buy-in of $400,000 and yearly privilege packages starting at $100,000 per person. Seat licensing for the all-new chairlift network will start at $2,500, and the option of owning a personal gondola is being discussed. Ikon passholders will not have access to the private Alpine Meadows resort, but there was discussion of a one-day-per-season privilege. After the pool scene from "Caddyshack" was played, however, that idea was immediately dismissed.

base area.jpg
Construction of the first of four 200-unit luxury condo complexes will begin in the summer of 2020, right after the current main base facility has been demolished. The condo complexes will have units ranging from 256 to 5,000 square feet; the large suites will be named after famous Squaw Valley/Alpine Meadows locals. Pricing will start in the low $300s for half shares; units above that will be priced accordingly. To remain environmentally conscious, all materials from the current base lodge will be repurposed at a cost twice what new materials would be. All units will have access to private underground parking capable of fitting the Trustafarian vehicle of choice, 4WD high-roof Sprinter vans. Each unit will also have its own Tesla Supercharger station. The condo complex will offer 24-hr concierge service, a complete ski shop and tuning center, and an on-call bootfitter.

Alpine Meadows' world-class terrain will be transformed with a fleet of state-of-the-art PistenBullies that will groom every run into corduroy -- maybe even velvet or Egyptian cotton. (Those not looking for the Nth degree of smoothness will find a "burlap" setting.) All employees will go through extensive barista training and be fluent in every diet trend.




cid:image001.png@01CFF80C.D73DEED0


The information contained in this message is comical and intended only for the humor of the individual or entity named above, and may be privileged. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution is encouraged. If you are not the intended recipient, that is okay. If you have received this message in error or want to pull our chain, please delete this e-mail. Thank you.
About author
Philpug
I started skiing in the mid-70s in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania; from then on, I found myself entrenched in the industry. I have worked in various ski shops from suburban to ski town to resort, giving me a well-rounded perspective on what skiers want from their gear. That experience was parlayed into my time as a Gear Review Editor and also consulting with manufacturers as a product tester. Along with being a Masterfit-trained bootfitter I am a fully certified self proclaimed Gear Guru. Not only do I keep up with the cutting edge of ski gear technology, but I am an avid gear collector and have an extensive array of bindings as well as many vintage skis.

Replies

Well played @Philpug . Very well done. :golfclap::roflmao:

"Ikon passholders will not have access to the private Alpine Meadows resort, but there was discussion of a one-day-per-season privilege. After the pool scene from "Caddyshack" was played, however, that idea was immediately dismissed."........brilliant.
 

Article information

Author
Philpug
Views
9,324
Comments
11
Last update

More in Lighter Side of Skiing

More from Philpug

Top