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Terry
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
6,102
Location
Enfield, NH
1659812792284.jpeg
 

skibob

Skiing the powder
Skier
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Posts
3,735
Location
Santa Rosa Fire Belt
A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza...
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
 

David Chaus

<insert clever custom title>
Skier
Team Gathermeister
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
4,532
Location
Stanwood, WA
Sigh....I'm going to have to go to gym and work on cracking open walnuts without using my hands. That way I'll be able to improve my swinging with jungle vines when carrying an apparently helpless young woman.
 

Pat AKA mustski

I can keep a Secret
Skier
Joined
Nov 15, 2015
Posts
3,788
Location
Big Bear, California
I'm still waiting for my George Jetson flying car :) View attachment 174746
Give it a few years … he was only born a week ago!
Sigh....I'm going to have to go to gym and work on cracking open walnuts without using my hands. That way I'll be able to improve my swinging with jungle vines when carrying an apparently helpless young woman.
It is always best to be prepared!
 

MarkP

Wannabe Retiree
Skier
Joined
Jul 15, 2017
Posts
907
Location
Maryland
rain drops are round or if heavy flattened out until they split to become round again

They don't actually do that... they're pretty much just spheres somewhat flattened...


You are mistaken.



When I go wrong, I go wrong big.
 

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