Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

[KingGrump]

but if you have vise grips & bailing wire you're good.

That sounds kinky AF. But whatever floats your boat. We don't judge.

 

[Turoa Kiwi]

I've just seen a headline saying “MISSING WOMAN FOUND SAFE” ....does anyone know what was in it?

 

[John Webb]

 

[John Webb]

 

[T-Square]

 

[Bad Bob]

 

[scvaughn]

That sounds kinky AF. But whatever floats your boat. We don't judge.

Not as kinky as the three seashells.

 

[graham418]

 

[flying_j]

View attachment 204691

Why aren’t those kids wearing helmets? What’s wrong with people!?!

 

[Uncle-A]

View attachment 204737

Else Bordon but she is a dairy cow.

 

[scvaughn]

 

[dbostedo]

 

[Bad Bob]

Oh, I had to share this one.

WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?'
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
Oh and
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used
to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!

 

[geepers]

 

[John Webb]

 

[KingGrump]

 

[Uncle-A]

My girlfriend told me to buy her something that made her look sexy.

I figured a bottle of vodka and a bottle of tequila would be enough.

 

[Varmintmist]

View attachment 204661

While working for a public utility in NJ a long time ago, we had a customer (actually a lot of them, but this one in particular) that was nucking futz. I had a ticket to move the service and he seemed somewhat ok. I asked him why he wanted his service moved 4 feet and as he started to tell me I watched him so carefully that I stabbed myself with a screwdriver in the hand and never took my eyes off of him. The govt was sending waves through the line and aliens... ect ect...
He kept calling us back and the last time I went, he had wrapped a sprinkler hose up the pole and through both the hot and return of the power.
I tried to get a couple guys together to don the full yellow rain gear, helmets and respirators, orange high voltage glove covers and sweep the ground in front of us with lay up sticks (5' yellow poles) and walk through the field going toward his house and run when he looked out the window.
Eventually he got a trip to the bouncy house.
Aliens was a big one surprisingly. I had installed big loops in the drop at peoples houses because that would confuse the waves sent through the line. Put a plastic collar from a box of wire as a "wave filter" on the drop...

 

[graham418]

 

[dbostedo]

View attachment 204773

Now what the heck would have prompted the creation of that sign?