Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

[JeffB]

The lawyer jokes are ironic at this moment! Loved the crabs one. Probably my fav.

Apparently these are all real:
http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/

 

[crgildart]

Shoutout to everyone else that's had to do a lot of shipping and packing as part fo their job duties.. Clear packing tape= MADDENING!

Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts

 

[kimmyt]

Funny comics you should read

 

[michael]

Do you get this?
View attachment 12894

no, but i'll give you a dime for the coconut...

 

[Tricia]

no, but i'll give you a dime for the coconut...

... all you need is a little rum

 

[AmyPJ]

Apparently these are all real:
http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/

These are funny, this one perhaps my fav!
* Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
* Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
* Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
* Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

Read more: http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/#ixzz4IueclBoG

 

[Tricia]

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.
You could always tell when Tim Conway had the rest of the team in stitches. They couldn't speak.
Just when they get their composure, he starts in again.

 

[skibob]

Apparently these are all real:
http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/

Oh god, this is funny:

* Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
* Witness: “Oral.”
* Lawyer: “How old are you?”
* Witness: “Oral.”





Read more: http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/#ixzz4IwC6IyZF

 

[michael]

Oh god, this is funny:

* Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
* Witness: “Oral.”
* Lawyer: “How old are you?”
* Witness: “Oral.”
Read more: http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/#ixzz4IwC6IyZF

That was the one I was most hoping was true!

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[AmyPJ]

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.
You could always tell when Tim Conway had the rest of the team in stitches. They couldn't speak.
Just when they get their composure, he starts in again.

Oh yes, I laughed! This stuff is pure comedic genius. So little said, yet SO funny.

 

[AmyPJ]

View attachment 12945
View attachment 12946

 

[tromano]

 

[JeffB]

A lawyer is sitting in his parked BMW when a tow truck crashes into the car. The crash takes car door clean off and the driver speeds away. The lawyer immediately signals a cop and begins ranting about how much the damage to his car is going to cost. The cop replies, "You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money." The lawyer says, "How DARE you call me materialistic." The cop replies, "Well, you've been so concerned about your car that you didn't notice that your arm is missing." The lawyer screams, "FUCK! My Rolex!

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[SBrown]

 

[AmyPJ]

Dave for the win! Those Japanese pranks had me crying I was laughing so hard!