We were all there once -- GAPER SKI LIST

Dave Petersen

Graphic Designer/Social Media Manager
Admin
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Nov 16, 2015
Posts
8,282
Gaper-Ski-List-SkiTalk.jpg
 

Jim McDonald

愛スキー
Skier
Joined
Nov 15, 2015
Posts
1,843
Location
Tokyo
17 + got waistpack stuck between the back supports on a triple chair and damn near decapitated the skier sliding off to my left as we hit the bullwheel
+ did a yardsale after 3 turns on Blitz morning of my first day at Taos; left the rest of the Level 8 class waiting at the bottom for 10 mins -- hey, they put me in the class!
+ burned right through a brand new pair of ski gloves "riding" the rope tow (genuine hemp rope)
+ listened to three pairs of skis fly off the rack on a turn, because i'd forgot to lock them down

I can/will probably think of a few more as the wine bottle empties...
 

VladSki

Two Aperols please
Skier
Joined
Feb 11, 2016
Posts
50
1) Crashed full speed into a plastic pylon saying SLOW on my second day of ski lessons
2) Put a ski with AT binding (brakes in retracted position) pointing downhill on a gently sloping surface
3) Put the L orthotic into the R boot and vice versa - boy that hurt!
4) Toured in alpine boots
 

cantunamunch

Meh
Skier
Joined
Nov 17, 2015
Posts
11,968
Location
Ankh-Morpork
^6

** had goggle helmet gap
**forgot to turn binding tension back up for skiing
**pinched boot under chair
**had head smacked by lift crossbar
**had head smacked by ski windmilling on 'safety' leash
**over-turned a monoski to a complete stop -> plop
**double-ejected header after smashing into a slow fence
**skied with a cracked-all-the-way-through Tecnica boot
 

Seldomski

Paralysis by analysis
Skier
Joined
Sep 25, 2017
Posts
2,019
Location
'mericuh
Skiing in Italy we were enjoying some après at a bar following successful loop of the Sella Ronda. There were no proper ski racks at the bar, so everyone had balanced their skis against the railing. Guy goes to try to wedge his skis into the last scrap of available railing, but starts the dominoes falling. It looked like the chain would stop midway with only half the skis falling as the rail made a 90 degree turn. The same guy 'intervenes' to try and help, but somehow he restarts the chain by touching the jumble. Every pair of skis balanced against the rail ended up in a heap. It was probably 100 pairs. Raucous applause ensued.

:roflmao:
 

fatbob

Not responding
Skier
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
3,665
What's wrong with filling in grooves with Ptex (notwithstanding superiroty of metalgrip/ptex repairs)?

Is it something like chicks dig scars?
 

slowrider

Trencher
Skier
Joined
Dec 17, 2015
Posts
2,998
Lets see.
Ejected off lift, 223 cm ski tips caught after leaving load ramp.
Hit in head by ski with leash on.
Fallen in lift line.
Wrapped up like a Tuna in the B net.
Wore a Tavern jacket skiing.
Wore short sleeve shirt skiing. Bad idea.
Knocked out skiing.
No eye protection in a storm.


Bonus pts.- Carted off hill in tobaggon.
 
Last edited:

Bill Miles

Old Man Groomer Zoomer
Skier
Joined
Nov 16, 2015
Posts
686
Location
Hailey, Idaho
One on original list (fell off chairlift)
One on follow-up list (hit by ski windmilling from safety strap)

Plus:

Prior to first day of skiing, took binding toepiece apart and put it back together wrong, released all morning.
 

KingGrump

Most Interesting Man In The World
Team Gathermeister
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
6,751
Location
NYC
+ did a yardsale after 3 turns on Blitz morning of my first day at Taos; left the rest of the Level 8 class waiting at the bottom for 10 mins -- hey, they put me in the class!

You didn't do too bad. You got 3 turns in.
I watched a L3 cert on Blitz from lift 2. Talking about carnage.
BTW, unlike PSIA, Taos splits on 10 levels. Looks like the instructor was having a bad day.

My personal best is probably skiing by the orange snow fence in front of St. B. Tracked a bit too close. Felt the snow collapsed under me. Dropped into the orange snow fence and ended up entangled in it. Right in front of everyone at the base. Like a squid in a net. :nono:
 

robertc3

Getting on the lift
Skier
Joined
Sep 12, 2017
Posts
171
Location
Kenmore, WA
I don't see that many people rushing to expose their personal gapperage? Shocker. I will play.

4. It could be more, but I learned to skis when I was 3, so I inevitably I don't remember all of by gapertastic beginner days. I do remember riding the lift with an instructor back in the safety strap days, knocking my skis together and knocking one off. It dangled from the strap and the instructor, in what had to have been a move he had done before got me back into the ski before we got to the top.
 

David Chaus

<insert clever custom title>
Skier
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
3,888
Location
Stanwood, WA
A half dozen under the “other” category:

Forgot to bring ski boots when driving to ski area (to meet up with a visiting Pugskier/Ski Talker) and had to rent boots for the day.
Forgot to bring a ski jacket, had to go into the ski shop and buy a hideous neon ski Burton shell that was 2 sizes too big. That said, it was decent quality so I wore it for a couple years, including to my first Gathering.
Forgot to bring ski pants (I would typically change into ski kit at a changing room at one of the lodges). I went to the ski shop and bought a pair of shell pants, luckily they still had a couple in my size.
Got my backpack strap caught on the seat of the chairlift and at the top terminal I was spun around the bull wheel (fixed grip chair) before it came free. At which point I went sprawling. I’m sure it was amusing to someone.
Was on a button lift and let the platter slip between my legs and I was holding onto the tow with my arms most of the way up.
I haven’t usually left gear in the parking lot, but I have several times left my phone in the car, and had to walk back to get it.


Wait: 7, I did in fact check boots as luggage. It was a non-stop flight on a less-than-half-full flight during Covid so I figured less chance of getting mishandled. It worked out OK. And I would do it again.
 

fatbob

Not responding
Skier
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
3,665
"Left significant peice of gear/clothing at home" would be a good one.

I am proud/not proud to say I am well into the double digits on this one. ;)
How about left significant piece of gear at home then ran out of gas in rush to get home to retrieve:doh::doh:

or left one binding toe (to fit 2 pairs of skis) on wrong side of Atlantic :doh:

Actually left my poles in the hotel first day of the season once - was quite a good drill not using them in the end.
 

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