You can't make this stuff up: Crazy stories ripped from the headlines

[cantunamunch]

*I shopped for a version of this that wasn't plastered with obnoxious blinking ads. You're welcome.

Thanks. Honestly, at this stage I even grudge them the Instagram click-through.

 

[David Chaus]

I don't get it. That isn't a family. What reason would a millionaire have for breeding 21 children? All I can think of is Clone Wars.

Actually, The Umbrella Academy.

 

[James]

Plane drops sewage on Windsor man in his garden

Councillor Karen Davies says she was "horrified" when told of the incident by one of her constituents.

www.bbc.com

 

[Turoa Kiwi]

Plane drops sewage on Windsor man in his garden

Councillor Karen Davies says she was "horrified" when told of the incident by one of her constituents.

www.bbc.com

from the article;
Ms Davies said the resident had decided not to pursue an insurance claim.
"Obviously he wasn't going to do that for the sake of a couple of garden umbrellas, in terms of bumping up his premium, so he's just sort of had to take it on the chin," she said.

 

[cantunamunch]

Tinkle, tinkle from afar,
Blue from Skykem, so bizarre
Dropping with a speed so high
Plopper slushie in the eye?

 

[newboots]

As Snoopy would say, "Bleah!"

 

[John Webb]

We need some of those [Otters] to help with that invasive species of fish that came from the Far East with the cargo ships.

Snake Fish !

 

[dbostedo]

"A duck ran in the New York City Marathon, and it wore little duck shoes while doing so"​

A duck wearing tiny shoes ran in the New York City Marathon

Wrinkle The Duck managed to run in the race and avoid getting crushed under any shoes in the process

www.avclub.com

 

[Sibhusky]

Insider: Brothel offering free sex to people who get vaccinated against COVID.

A brothel is offering free sex to people who get a COVID-19 vaccine

The FunPalast: Sex Star Sauna Club is vaccinating some customers on site in Vienna, Austria, in exchange for 30 minutes with their "lady of choice."

www.insider.com

 

[David Chaus]

Insider: Brothel offering free sex to people who get vaccinated against COVID.

A brothel is offering free sex to people who get a COVID-19 vaccine

The FunPalast: Sex Star Sauna Club is vaccinating some customers on site in Vienna, Austria, in exchange for 30 minutes with their "lady of choice."

www.insider.com

Well, that is one type of business where you definitely want all the clientele to be vaccinated.

 

[DanoT]

While on the subject of sex:

Coronavirus (COVID-19) Overview

COVID-19 is a new type of coronavirus that causes mild to severe cases. Here’s a quick guide on how to spot symptoms, risk factors, prevent spread of the disease, and find out what to do if you think you have it.

www.webmd.com

 

[François Pugh]

Insider: Brothel offering free sex to people who get vaccinated against COVID.

A brothel is offering free sex to people who get a COVID-19 vaccine

The FunPalast: Sex Star Sauna Club is vaccinating some customers on site in Vienna, Austria, in exchange for 30 minutes with their "lady of choice."

www.insider.com

Sneaky! The first 30 minutes are free, but man will they soak you with the overage fees!

 

[Jenny]

Well, that is one type of business where you definitely want all the clientele to be vaccinated.

With more than one vaccine, too.

 

[KingGrump]

Sneaky! The first 30 minutes are free, but man will they soak you with the overage fees!

Sounds like experience speaking.

 

[dbostedo]

Sounds like experience speaking.

Sounds like a sneaky brag about stamina

 

[KingGrump]

Sounds like a sneaky brag about stamina

Or in dire need of a Viagra prescription.

 

[Sibhusky]

Just give up the purse.
Woman runs over husband as he tried to dislodge bowling ball

Woman runs over husband as he tried to dislodge bowling ball

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — A man was critically hurt when his wife drove over him twice as he tried to dislodge a bowling ball that had been thrown in front of their car on Saturday.

apnews.com

 

[David Chaus]

That one deserves a

 

[LiquidFeet]

Just give up the purse.
Woman runs over husband as he tried to dislodge bowling ball

Woman runs over husband as he tried to dislodge bowling ball

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — A man was critically hurt when his wife drove over him twice as he tried to dislodge a bowling ball that had been thrown in front of their car on Saturday.

apnews.com

Sad. Not funny.

 

[Turoa Kiwi]