- Joined
- May 2, 2017
- Posts
- 4,348
At least I don't have them on my head (yet).
But there they are, none the less, living rent free in my noggin so to speak.
It all starts innocently enough, little mounds of snow, growing slowly at first, pushed about the slopes with each skier's passing and becoming bolder and more assertive every hour. Forensic analysis shows they actually grow uphill as if possessed by the Devil himself, which they are. Occasionally some kind-hearted mechanic in a $500K grooming machine will restore order from kaos but inevitably "they will return, and in greater numbers" as a wise old man once told me. If only there were was some mystical force that could be summoned when confronted with such a thing; giant soul sucking crevasses intent on trapping a good man's skis in a port facing direction while pitching his torso to starboard.
It is not enough to "be prepared" like a good boy scout. A reputable skier may think their countless hours spent on the bunny slope dodging Texans and doing drills will serve as some sort of talisman when he or she must confront the evil that awaits. No, sadly the individual parts that make up the whole can be assembled correctly but without the right Horcrux, the One Ring, the Arc of the Covenant or McDonald's Special Sauce it aint gonna happen.
Does anybody have any I can borrow?
What kind of skis do you have?
Keep your hands in front amd stay light on your feet.
All good advice here sometimes you just have to prove to yourself that you can do it. Get out in some good conditions amd pick a reasonable trail. Hopefully not a trail named grim reaper or widow factory maybe a blue with bumps on the side.