Have been a gate judge on U8-U12 races in Norway with ~150 participants. It's hard work and not that easy. Lots of gaps in the start list and a kid coming every 30 seconds or so and you stand there for hours. You have to be damned sure that you get the correct kid before making a note, not easy in
foul weather to see the number on a folded up vest.
For U8-U10 in our country the results are not sorted and there is no announcement of winners or top 3. It's kids sports, mass participations events and more like a timed training with equal prices for everyone. Result lists only supposed to exist as printouts in the finish area, and not be published online. But they often exist on the timing apps. If someone that misses a gate is not DQ and there is a time on the list instead of a DQ, then so what? They know. For my gates the only faults where kids not understanding the delay gates and going an extra long way, and 2-3 totally clueless kids straigthlining sections of the course, but they were going slower than the fast kids anyway... I didn't even check if the jury DQ kids from my notes, don't really care....
For U12 and above it is serious business. So being gate judge for U8-U10 is good practice for being a gate judge for U12 and above...
Walking back up is generally prohibited in kids racing. Tight start intervals, big differences in speed for different kids, can make a mess in the timing system in events that are already taking way to long or can be a problem for safety.
Not knowing how things are in the US but I guess the parents the op are referring to is just under the same attitude that U8-U10 racing is not that serious stuff.
Coaches actively encouraging kids to miss gates to get a better time? Well like
@jt10000. Nice story. Not. Buying. It.