Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

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Terry
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Just got back from Kroger. I have to tell you this, I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things.
The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . easy boy.”

Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say : “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the grocery cart. Granddad says again in a controlled voice : “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.”

Well, I was really impressed, so I went outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad.”

“Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. The little bastard’s name is Kevin.
 

dbostedo

Asst. Gathermeister
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...screaming for sweets, biscuits...
I'd guess that's a British joke originally... but I'm wondering why they changed the store to "Kroger" but didn't change what the kid was screaming for.... What kid in Kroger screams for biscuits? :P
 

Monique

bounceswoosh
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Here's one I personally overheard, so it definitely happened. Browsing a toy store, and I hear a kid shouting, "Mommy, mommy, can I have a bitch on fries?"

*double take*

At the time (probably still now) there were these breed-specific toy dogs. She was looking at the bichon frise.
 

skibob

Making fresh tracks
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Donner Lake
Here's one I personally overheard, so it definitely happened. Browsing a toy store, and I hear a kid shouting, "Mommy, mommy, can I have a bitch on fries?"

*double take*

At the time (probably still now) there were these breed-specific toy dogs. She was looking at the bichon frise.
LOL. We HAVE a Bichon Frise. Or, rather, a bitch on fries!
mochi.jpg
 

John Webb

mdskier
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Nevada City CA
When I was at Whidbey Island, the brass finally put teeth in the rule to not fly under the Deception Pass bridge. Scared to many tourists.
I arrived at Whidbey island NAS once on a ship the USS Whidbey Island making a courtesy call (actually so locals could buy t-shirts & hats) and saw what looked like a 7-11 type store. No line so I tried to buy a coke and a candy bar.
Turned out it was part of the Navy exchange and he would not sell it. As i spent a very long time trying to explain I had no car and could not go elswhere the checkout line got absurdly long. Finally a Lt Commander in line marches up and flat out ordered the clerk to sell me a candy bar ! Navy Problem solved. LOL
 
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