@Monique,
As mentioned, this is not "new ground" to me. I've had a lot of experience with 2.5L turbo in the Subie Outback. I'm also not an alarmist when it comes to high mileage cars. Have had plenty.
I feel strongly that the OEM turbo failure on this engine is a "when, not if" issue. I just had a pad of paper out, and just noted 11 friends and family. I think that one of them drove the car to close to 200K miles without needing to replace the turbo. I have seen them replaced at less than 50K miles, and after replacement, a failure 25K miles later. So, there is no standard on this.
Here's our experience; they can blow with no warning at all, OR they can start to make more noise {a screeching noise, caused by the bearings not getting enough oil to them}, and in some rare cases throw on the check engine light. The CEL is normally because of oil loss. That is pretty rare. People who work on these cars will often tell owners that they need to be much more in tune with the car, to pick up on these things if and when they pop up. If you get any noise, like that, shut the down. Don't limp home, don't drive a mile. Call AAA. Some people will say that it's fine to drive home with no turbo...no Subie expert would say so,
Because, if a Turbo blows, and you're driving at your normal 75 mph, with the car in boost {using the turbo}, it will disintegrate, and small metal pieces can end up inside your engine, wrecking pretty much all of the internals. So then you need an engine rebuild. Some times both the top end {pistons, valves, etc.} and the "short block", which is basically the lower half of the engine.
Much of this is not logical. I won't go into the design, but it happens. The intake fins of the turbo are soft aluminum. They "should" not be able to make their way into the engine internals. They can, and do. The exhaust part of the turbo is cast, and normally when they blow, they take ours there catalytic converters on the exhaust. Not cheap.
When I first asked the question of how much if one blows, my tech said $750 to $7500. A more "normal" price for a new replacement OEM turbo is about maybe $1600-1800 installed. Most good Subie techs would never replace the OEM, as they think they are junk. So instead of a $1000 part, it's closer to $1500. The actual work is not bad. That is if you proactively replace it, or have no other damage.
So what do you do to try to prevent it? First, run the best oil you can. When my daughter showed up at her new Subie shop with a jug of Motul oil, a OEM "blacK' filter and a fresh crush washer, the tech was pretty surprised. She knew her "S***". Subaru cut their old change frequency in half, from 7500 miles to 3750 when the Legacy GT's and Outback XT's began to have this problem. It's expensive, bit it's important. There are two fittings on the oil line to the turbo called "banjo bolts", which contain small screens that are notorious for clogging with "oil junk". Some clean them frequently, many others remove the screens. No screens on our cars.
Then when you start the car, let the oil circulate and get to the turbo. I would say let it idle for a minute or so. My daughter is impatient, and knowing the consequences, she does this. When she stops, and parks, let it idle for a minute before shutting it down.
I'm not a fan of Subaru dealerships...at all. I have two good friends who own them. I would NEVER bring my Subie to a dealer for regular service once it was out of warranty, if I had other alternatives. Denver and Boulder are full of exceptional independent Subie techs. These guys know the cars inside and out. I would start by having one, maybe two, look at the car. Tell them that you are concerned about the turbo at your mileage. A good tech should be able to check for leaks, maybe inspect to see if there is play in the shaft, any sense of wear in the bearings, etc. If for some unimaginable reason the thing is still running with the banjo bolt screens in it, have them cleaned at the least. I'd remove them. It's easy.
Be prepared. Any one of these people is going to be mildly surprised, or "Holy S***", that you have the original turbo. If you've had the service done at your dealer, even the big ones in Denver and Boulder, I bet they don't take much time to inspect things like this. They do exactly what is on the work order, and nothing else. Go down the checklist, and maybe do that.
I completely understand why you love the car. I mentioned to our daughter that she WILL be replacing the turbo in her 2008 XT this spring at about 120K miles. No might, WILL. The car is mint, because it's in the high rockies, it's worth a lot of money, and she wants to preserve that. Even if she plans to sell it, which she well may, it will sell better with a new turbo, particularly having had no failure.
I and NOT an alarmist when it comes to cars. Not even close. Some cars have their quirks, and their own special items that need attention. When we bought out second Land Cruiser, it was a CPO vehicle off lease. I extended the CPO warranty to 100K miles for only one reason. I knew that in the 2000 model year, there had been premature transmission failures. Not that unique. When replaced, they were good for hundreds of thousands of miles with ATF changes. So I paid an extra $700 for the warranty. The transmission started to act up at about 85K miles, and was replaced at 90K miles. Sold that one at about 240K miles.
This is an issue. Not to sound like a jerk, but I don't care who may surface on Pugski, or at a dealership to say "not so." It's a known issue. When the initial 2005 cars were about four years old, there was a three month dealer backorder on replacement turbos. There was talk of class action suits, as Subie was initially denying a lot of warranty claims.
My advice.....if you are keeping the car, replace the turbo soon. Do it with a well rated indie shop, with a quality aftermarket turbo. You'll be good for as long as you own it after that. In terms of the turbo.
My daughter loves her car and says "I wish this thing were not such a Diva....seems needy." Yeah, it is, if you want to keep it in the shape it is. They are not the simple workhouse Subies of the nineties. Not these models. Nobody buys an STI or a WRX and treats it like a beater Camry or Civic.
Other Stuff:
1. CPO. Certified Pre Owned. In most cases, it means that the dealer has gone over the car with some detail, replaced whatever they can on warranty, and is selling it with a decent warranty. You can often extend the warranty for additional cost. Is it worth it? It all depends. CPO cars tend to not be cheap. If I could buy a mint used car, with similar mileage and a very thorough maintenance history with all of the records, and do so at a big price savings, I would be comfortable with that. If the CPO price delta is not much, I might lean strongly towers the CPO. Also depends on the car. Some are know to just be super reliable.
2. The 330. Will be worth more with a stick. Fun to drive. Good in snow. I assume that you husband wants to keep it. Might become the fun to drive car for both of you. if he keeps it as perfect as it sounds, it's a coveted car on the used market.
3. Suburban "barn doors". Loved them. 1999, I think was the end of them. Now, the visibility was not as good. No rear wiper. The current power lift gates are pretty darn nice.
4. Land Cruisers have two seats which form the third seating row. The fold up to the outside of the cargo area on both sides. Folded up, they still take up some serious room. The majority of LC owners that we know remove them {it's a 30 second process} and leave them out of the car unless you need to transport more than five people. I have a friend who uses them twice a year....to concerts. The cargo area is BIG with them out. Also easy to flip up one side of the 60/40 split second seat.
I dunno. Our son and his GF were back East this summer and had four bikes in the back of ours, with camping gear, etc. We have never once said "Man, I wish we still had a Suburban." Now having said that I like the newer Suburbans a lot more, and the newer LC's are insanely expensive and not the luxury utility vehicle that we love.
Not an easy choice. I think the Outback could become a real black hole in terms of maintenance. It's got some value now. I'd think about replacing that with another sports wagon of some sort.
And as a big beast, I'd think you have. a lot of options. I would absolutely buy used. On some, I would not be concerned with mileage, at ALL.
Good luck thinking it through!